Not sure who that was attributable to, but I would love to own this quote myself. When I shared this quote with a group of our rangatahi they got the gist of it straight away and could quite easily describe its intent - in fact far more easily than it is to surround yourself with those friends that will create that positive culture. They understood the impact of having strong behaviours around us, they understood the need for role models and they understood that we, ourselves, are reflected in those we associate with. How they are seen is how we are seen.
As parents and whānau we strive to steer our tamariki in the direct path of those we see as beneficial and good for our kids whilst directing them away from those we perceive that are not. From an educational and social perspective there is much to like about this however there is a flaw in that too. At our kura we create many opportunities for many of our akonga, despite how they are currently, or have historically been seen. We know that in our lives we 'stub our toes', and we know that those toes heal - as does the hurt or harm we can sometimes cause. We spend a great deal of time ensuring that there is a clear understanding that any one act does not define who we are so that all can grow from what we might have done.
If those that struggle in society, for whatever reason, and let's be honest, tamariki of an intermediate age are in that interesting stage of life where there is a lot going on for them, are not surrounded by positive influences then how can they ever change their own lives? As parents we need to step into those spaces and provide opportunities for our tamariki to be involved with and engaged with a great many others. Through this we develop understanding and empathy, we learn about the lives of others and we gain a true sense of society. They learn that life and humans are indeed a box of chocolates! This was further exposed to me recently when my now 22 year old son thanked me for the diversity of people he met through his upbringing. Intrigued, I asked him to expand on this. As a budding lawyer he was congratulated by his lecturers on his ability to converse and create immediate trust with a wide spectrum of society. That hadn't happened by accident and nor was it deliberate - it is just the way his parents raised him. The way that we, his parents, were raised too.
Through this exposure we also enable ourselves to discover the friends that will be with us and beside us for the rest of our lives. Friends across a spectrum, diverse, different and able to complement ourselves in so many ways. If we are aligned with others that enhance our own values, who can be honest with us and who are supportive of us then we are strengthened. You would be pleasantly surprised at the number of our students who are starting to pull away from 'mates' who they are recognising are not the influence they need and are now finding that both life and kura are a whole lot more enjoyable! We can tell them the same until we are blue in the face but they will rarely act upon that advice until they come to the same conclusion themselves.
So, the quote above has many layers to it yet however we look at it the reality is that our futures can indeed be influenced by those who we associate with.