Quote of the fortnight?
Well, you're probably thinking that I am trying to revisit a youth that passed so darn long ago with a quote from a band I quite like, however the truth is that this particular quote relates in its own way to the influence of social media.
Fact - Australia recently legislated to remove social media platforms from those under the age of 16.
Fact - it is illegal for a child to be on many social media platforms under the age of 13 in Aotearoa New Zealand.
Fact - your tamariki are so adept with technology and it is a major part of their lives.
Fact - a high percentage of bullying at our age group occurs on-line. It is established and continues!
Fact - we have to deal with the results and outcomes of that bullying way too often on a Monday or a Tuesday. That's like a weekend hang-over for us!
So, why is it that our youngsters are on these sites? And is there a connection between whānau and family coming to us and saying that they don't know what to do? That they are concerned with the amount of time spent on-line at home and how they are concerned with what they are doing on-line? A definite connection indeed.
Okay, so it is likely that your kids see you as "one eyed hillbillies" with no idea about the modern world yet I would contend that those parents who actively control what, when and where their kids are on-line are exercising their right as parents to protect because at this stage of their lives we are fairly and squarely in charge.
Now I see the value in these social media platforms as important social connectors but we have a critical role in knowing who our kids are connecting with, what they are communicating about and and when. If your child is not prepared to share this information with you then you have to 'take the power back'. Switch the devices off! Turn off the wifi! We don't throw car keys to kids without teaching them how to drive. The minefield that is social media should require a license as well. Teach them about their roles as digital citizens and the legal implications if things go wrong. And, yes, this actually happens.
The horror stories of systematic bullying, unreported disclosures of suicidal thoughts and adult predators setting up alias accounts posing as young kids...the list goes on and the list is real. In addition, I often see whole families at cafes connected to their devices but without a single word being said. Connecting with each other through discussion about sport, school, life - even the food you are eating is critical to build rangatahi who communicate, empathise, and think critically when a problem needs to be solved.
As parents we must model this behaviour ourselves and that is not done face down in a screen. Remember that parenting is not always easy but that we are there to support you should this, at times, be difficult. So, think about what the digital landscape looks like at your place and about what you are doing at home to model social media behaviour that clearly demonstrates its place but not its foothold in your house. Lastly, you will find some links on this page that you can tap into to help you out - whether you need that help now...or later!